In the lap of mother

Dear Piya,
I have often heard this phrase - ‘In the lap of Mother Nature’, being used to describe the immense joys of enjoying nature.
It is only recently that I realised why the phrase is worded so.

There are many activities that you & I engage in, on a routine-basis.
I call you. You don’t reply.
I ask you to do something. You don’t do it.
I ask you not to do something. You go ahead and do that, right that second.
I get mad at you. You smile your way into a hug.
I kiss you a million times. You yell for help the second kiss onwards.
I insist on having you in my arms. You try to run away all the time.
And my favourite - I place you in my lap, so as to see you face to face, which believe it or not is much harder these days as the toddler in you is a constant flight-risk. Herein, you oblige at time, given the extent of the allure of my promised prize.
Yes, I have to trick you into sitting in your mother’s lap these days, as I am at that point of motherhood wherein I want to hold onto you, whereas you are at that stage in your childhood wherein you wish to explore the world beyond your mother’s tutelage.

Shortly put, my little birdie seeks the horizons beyond my nest.

But, I keep on insisting on some lap-time everyday.
I mostly do so at the end of the day, as I recite some story to you, as you sit in my lap. You resist a lot. Your attention gets sought by the vast corners of our room, which you wish to scatter toys in. But my arm holds onto your wrist firmly. Slowly, drowsiness takes over your eyes and you take interest in the story I am telling.
This is the time I take to see how much the girl I first held in my arms has grown up.
I caress your hair continuously, thanking my stars for the best of all the worlds that I have in the form of you.
You keep gesturing me to stop pulling your cheeks every few seconds with a frown, which only make me cuddle you more.
As your head starts to feel heavy, you request that I switch to singing your favourite lullaby, which I do.
My sleepy baby then rests her head on my shoulders and closes her tired eyes.
I kiss your forehead many times, while holding your petite fingers in my palms. I pat your back for being an amazing child, at the same time whispering positive thoughts into your ear.

As I gently rock my soon-to-fly-out-of-my-nest-birdie, this lap seems filled with the best of treasures my heart can desire for. It is in this moment that I realise what a content heart feels like, as well as what a thankful soul feels like.

I think the phrase gets it right because of this very aspect of a mother - the source of her bond to her child - her lap. For me, this is the best part of the day. I can only wish it is so for you too.



Love,
Maa.

Double Standards and Reverse Psychology

Dear Piya,

I think the title of this letter is self-explanatory.
But to add some context and elements of nostalgic laughter to this, I will share some stories behind this pain-in-the-head repetitive cycle of reverse psychology.

One of the first traits that I believe a toddler develops is that of 'double standards'.
Don't take offence.
Just yet.

You have a love-hate relationship with the word 'No'.

You love it to the extent of chanting it in response to any request; and to this, you add your charismatic touch of drama.
Depending upon the impact you think your reply may have on my state of mind, it varies from a silent nod from left to right many times over, to a boisterous 'Nooooooooo' as you run in the opposite direction of my presence.
Somewhere, in between, are seeped in many a crying-sobbing-wailing-no; these pop up every time you are required to do something on time, like brush your teeth, take a bath, eat your meal, not eat everything apart from your meal, go to sleep, etc.

As annoying as listening to the constant negative replies from you is to me, this was but the love side of the story. That is to say how you love saying 'No'.
From my point of view, it is a hate-hate story and here is why I hate both sides of it.

As much as not doing something appeals to the naughty child in you, so does doing exactly what you are asked not to, too!

You would think that listening to a 'No', for a person who loves humming this word, would be a short & compliant deal. But noooooooo!
There seems to be a bee within you who buzzes awake every time she is asked not to do something, only to go ahead and do it right away.
If I were to ask you to not sit on a particular chair, and choose any other place to lodge you tiny body in, that chair would have you jump into it before I am done telling you where else you may sit.
If I were to tell you that you should drink carefully lest you spill water out of your mouth, you would giggle that very moment to make a sprinkler dance out of your lips.

I could go on with many more 'If I were to...', but I guess you get the flow.
So you get it why I say you have double standards, right?

Here is the sad part - there is no winning against a toddler, no matter how flip-flop they do to suit their convenience.
And here is the not-so-sad-part - there is no winning against the woman, who gave birth to the said toddler, either as she is the mother of all the child's strategies.

So, if you say no to eating something, I just declare that you shouldn't eat it no matter what.
"This is NOT for you."

"DON'T you enter the shower for a bath!"

"Wear this dress, NOT the other one (which I chose I chose in the first place)."

"Please DON'T sleep now. You have to stay up till late."

Oh, how wonderful the results are, as this trick of reverse psychology works like a charm!
I have to suppress the sigh of relief in my breath, as you instantly get to doing what you were specifically asked not to, lest you stop doing it for reverse effect.

This works most of the times, which is still better than expecting compliance from a toddler who loves 'No'. For those exceptional times when you figure out how I am trying to trick you into something by the use of negatives, I still get a hearty laugh at how my little girl is getting smarter by the day.

I will make you a deal, love.
You quit your double standards and I will quit applying reverse psychology, what say?
Aaaaah, thought so!



Love,
Maa.