Dear Piya,
I think the title of this letter is self-explanatory.
But to add some context and elements of nostalgic laughter to this, I will share some stories behind this pain-in-the-head repetitive cycle of reverse psychology.
One of the first traits that I believe a toddler develops is that of 'double standards'.
Don't take offence.
Just yet.
You have a love-hate relationship with the word 'No'.
You love it to the extent of chanting it in response to any request; and to this, you add your charismatic touch of drama.
Depending upon the impact you think your reply may have on my state of mind, it varies from a silent nod from left to right many times over, to a boisterous 'Nooooooooo' as you run in the opposite direction of my presence.
Somewhere, in between, are seeped in many a crying-sobbing-wailing-no; these pop up every time you are required to do something on time, like brush your teeth, take a bath, eat your meal, not eat everything apart from your meal, go to sleep, etc.
As annoying as listening to the constant negative replies from you is to me, this was but the love side of the story. That is to say how you love saying 'No'.
From my point of view, it is a hate-hate story and here is why I hate both sides of it.
As much as not doing something appeals to the naughty child in you, so does doing exactly what you are asked not to, too!
You would think that listening to a 'No', for a person who loves humming this word, would be a short & compliant deal. But noooooooo!
There seems to be a bee within you who buzzes awake every time she is asked not to do something, only to go ahead and do it right away.
If I were to ask you to not sit on a particular chair, and choose any other place to lodge you tiny body in, that chair would have you jump into it before I am done telling you where else you may sit.
If I were to tell you that you should drink carefully lest you spill water out of your mouth, you would giggle that very moment to make a sprinkler dance out of your lips.
I could go on with many more 'If I were to...', but I guess you get the flow.
So you get it why I say you have double standards, right?
Here is the sad part - there is no winning against a toddler, no matter how flip-flop they do to suit their convenience.
And here is the not-so-sad-part - there is no winning against the woman, who gave birth to the said toddler, either as she is the mother of all the child's strategies.
So, if you say no to eating something, I just declare that you shouldn't eat it no matter what.
"This is NOT for you."
"DON'T you enter the shower for a bath!"
"Wear this dress, NOT the other one (which I chose I chose in the first place)."
"Please DON'T sleep now. You have to stay up till late."
Oh, how wonderful the results are, as this trick of reverse psychology works like a charm!
I have to suppress the sigh of relief in my breath, as you instantly get to doing what you were specifically asked not to, lest you stop doing it for reverse effect.
This works most of the times, which is still better than expecting compliance from a toddler who loves 'No'. For those exceptional times when you figure out how I am trying to trick you into something by the use of negatives, I still get a hearty laugh at how my little girl is getting smarter by the day.
I will make you a deal, love.
You quit your double standards and I will quit applying reverse psychology, what say?
Aaaaah, thought so!
Love,
Maa.
I think the title of this letter is self-explanatory.
But to add some context and elements of nostalgic laughter to this, I will share some stories behind this pain-in-the-head repetitive cycle of reverse psychology.
One of the first traits that I believe a toddler develops is that of 'double standards'.
Don't take offence.
Just yet.
You have a love-hate relationship with the word 'No'.
You love it to the extent of chanting it in response to any request; and to this, you add your charismatic touch of drama.
Depending upon the impact you think your reply may have on my state of mind, it varies from a silent nod from left to right many times over, to a boisterous 'Nooooooooo' as you run in the opposite direction of my presence.
Somewhere, in between, are seeped in many a crying-sobbing-wailing-no; these pop up every time you are required to do something on time, like brush your teeth, take a bath, eat your meal, not eat everything apart from your meal, go to sleep, etc.
As annoying as listening to the constant negative replies from you is to me, this was but the love side of the story. That is to say how you love saying 'No'.
From my point of view, it is a hate-hate story and here is why I hate both sides of it.
As much as not doing something appeals to the naughty child in you, so does doing exactly what you are asked not to, too!
You would think that listening to a 'No', for a person who loves humming this word, would be a short & compliant deal. But noooooooo!
There seems to be a bee within you who buzzes awake every time she is asked not to do something, only to go ahead and do it right away.
If I were to ask you to not sit on a particular chair, and choose any other place to lodge you tiny body in, that chair would have you jump into it before I am done telling you where else you may sit.
If I were to tell you that you should drink carefully lest you spill water out of your mouth, you would giggle that very moment to make a sprinkler dance out of your lips.
I could go on with many more 'If I were to...', but I guess you get the flow.
So you get it why I say you have double standards, right?
Here is the sad part - there is no winning against a toddler, no matter how flip-flop they do to suit their convenience.
And here is the not-so-sad-part - there is no winning against the woman, who gave birth to the said toddler, either as she is the mother of all the child's strategies.
So, if you say no to eating something, I just declare that you shouldn't eat it no matter what.
"This is NOT for you."
"DON'T you enter the shower for a bath!"
"Wear this dress, NOT the other one (which I chose I chose in the first place)."
"Please DON'T sleep now. You have to stay up till late."
Oh, how wonderful the results are, as this trick of reverse psychology works like a charm!
I have to suppress the sigh of relief in my breath, as you instantly get to doing what you were specifically asked not to, lest you stop doing it for reverse effect.
This works most of the times, which is still better than expecting compliance from a toddler who loves 'No'. For those exceptional times when you figure out how I am trying to trick you into something by the use of negatives, I still get a hearty laugh at how my little girl is getting smarter by the day.
I will make you a deal, love.
You quit your double standards and I will quit applying reverse psychology, what say?
Aaaaah, thought so!
Love,
Maa.
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